How to Coach Someone With Low Self-Esteem

Trauma, lack of support, constant criticism, and unrealistic expectations can weaken an individual’s self-esteem. However, there are strategies to guide someone to embrace their strengths, see their worth and build A Confident Mindset™. 

But you may be wondering how to coach someone with low self-esteem? Start by encouraging open conversations, providing constructive feedback, and setting realistic expectations. You can also promote self-care practices, be a supportive friend, volunteer together, teach valuable skills and strategies, and help foster a positive inner voice.

Strategies for Coaching Someone with Low Self-Esteem

Here are some practical and proven strategies that you can follow to coach an individual with low self-esteem:

1. Encourage Open Conversation

The most important thing you can do when coaching someone with low-self-esteem is to give them a place to feel safe talking about their experiences and thoughts. Let them know they can share their thoughts freely without fear of judgment or rejection. You can also make them know that you accept them for who they are and that they deserve love and respect.

2. Provide Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is key to helping someone with low self-esteem grow and improve. Focus on guiding them rather than pointing out mistakes. Instead of saying, "You didn’t do this right," try, "You did well here, and next time, this approach might make it even better." A little encouragement can go a long way in helping them believe in themselves.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Setting unrealistic expectations can be discouraging and make someone feel like they’re not good enough. Instead, help build confidence by encouraging an individual to set achievable goals. Encourage them to break big tasks into smaller steps, and celebrate every win—no matter how small. Seeing progress, little by little, can make a big difference in how they feel about themselves.

4. Encourage Self-Care 

Self-care is essential for maintaining positive mental health and self-esteem. Encourage the person to develop habits that help increase their physical, emotional, and mental wellness. Encourage regular exercise, healthy eating, sufficient rest, and enjoyable hobbies. These self-care routines can make them feel better and have higher self-respect.

5. Be a Supportive Mentor

Low self-esteem can leave people feeling isolated and unsupported. As a coach, your presence can make all the difference. Check in regularly—through a message, a call, or a quick chat—to show you’re there for them. If they hesitate to reach out, take the lead by suggesting simple ways to connect, like a casual check-in, a walk, or a shared activity. Small, consistent gestures help build trust and remind them they’re not alone.

6. Volunteer Together

When coaching someone with low self-esteem, encourage them to help others. Being good to others can be a great way to make someone proud of making a difference. Whether it’s lending a hand at a food bank, caring for animals at a shelter, or simply helping a neighbor, these small acts can give them a sense of purpose and remind them of their value.

7. Teach Tools and Strategies

Low self-esteem often comes from feeling inadequate or overwhelmed by life’s challenges. As a coach, you can help by teaching simple tools and techniques to manage their thoughts and emotions. For example, mindfulness can ease anxiety, and time management can create a sense of control. Even small tools like these can make a big difference in how they see themselves and navigate life.

8. Encourage a Positive Inner Voice

Negative self-talk is often at the heart of low self-esteem. Help them recognize that these thoughts aren’t facts—they’re just stories they’ve been telling themselves. Show them how to reframe their negative thoughts into something more positive. For example, instead of saying, “I’m horrible at my job,” they can try, “I’m still learning, but I’m improving and have value in the workplace.” Changing the way they speak to themselves can slowly build self-confidence and shift their mindset.

What Are the Signs of Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem can impact every part of life, from relationships to career growth. The first step to building confidence is recognizing the signs. Here are some common ones:

• Self-Doubt: Constantly second-guessing yourself, which can make decision-making feel overwhelming.
• Avoiding Social Situations: Trying to skip gatherings because of the fear of embarrassment, judgment, or rejection.
• Sensitivity to Criticism: Taking feedback personally or feeling attacked, even if it’s meant to help.
• Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic expectations often lead to procrastination, fear of failure, or frustration.
• Negative Self-Talk: Focusing on flaws and past mistakes, rather than strengths or progress. 
• Fear of Failure: Avoiding a challenge or an opportunity because of fear of failure. 
• Dependency on Others: Relying too much on others for validation and emotional support.
• Difficulty Coping Setbacks: Finding it hard to bounce back from failures or tough experiences.

Wrap Up

Coaching someone with low self-esteem is not just about boosting their confidence; it’s about helping them see their worth, encouraging positive thoughts, and shifting their mindset. 

Whether you’re a mentor, psychiatrist, or daycare worker, you can use these strategies to guide an individual to build their self-esteem. If you feel passionate about helping and are unsure of where to start, connect with A Confident Mindset™ and for guidance and consider becoming a certified confidence coach.