How To Help A Child With Low Self-Esteem In School

A child’s self-esteem may suffer when they face constant comparisons, unrealistic expectations, harsh criticism, or difficult childhood experiences. But with the right approach, you can help them rebuild their confidence and develop an unshakable belief in themselves. Support their growth by recognizing their unique talents, offering genuine praise, and avoiding comparisons or negative labels like “lazy” or “not good enough.” In the classroom, teachers can play a key role by setting realistic goals, fostering resilience, and guiding students in managing their time and workload effectively.

Let’s explore these strategies in more detail.

10 Tips on Helping Children with Low Self-Esteem in School 

Children with low self-esteem often struggle in school because they lack the confidence to tackle various tasks, either in school or in interacting with others. Teachers can play a key role in helping students develop self-worth. Here are 10 effective ways:

1. Encourage Open Communication

The first step in helping your students manage low self-esteem is creating a space for open conversation. Take the time to ask how their day went and what challenges they faced. For instance, you might ask, “How did you feel during your math test today? Was there something that felt tricky?” By truly listening, you show your students that they are heard and valued, helping them feel supported and understood.

2. Praise Their Effort, Not Just Results

Focus on the effort, not just the results. Encourage your students to keep pushing forward with persistence and determination. Acknowledge their hard work, perseverance, and commitment to growth. Recognizing their effort not only boosts their confidence but also motivates them to keep striving. For example, you might say, "I’m really proud of how hard you worked to study for the history test. Keep up the great effort in all your subjects—you’re doing amazing!"

3. Keep Realistic Expectations

Be realistic with your expectations and set achievable goals for your students. Unrealistic or overwhelming expectations can damage their self-esteem. As a supportive teacher, focus on encouraging progress and celebrating the small wins. This helps build their confidence and shows them that every step forward is worth celebrating.

4. Avoid Comparisons

Comparing one student to another can negatively affect their self-esteem. Every child develops at their own pace and has their own strengths and challenges. Focus on their individual growth and celebrate their achievements. Instead of making comparisons to others, highlight their progress over time to show how far they've come. For example, you might say, "You’ve made such great progress in math since last term—keep up the fantastic work!"

5. Avoid Labeling

Labeling children as "lazy" can harm their self-esteem, leaving them feeling inadequate. Rather than labeling, focus on the behavior and offer constructive feedback to help them overcome challenges. For example, rather than saying, "You're lazy," try saying, "I’ve noticed you’re having trouble finishing your homework. Let’s figure out a way to make it easier for you." This approach addresses the behavior, not the identity, and gives your student the opportunity to grow and improve.

6. Teach Resilience

Children with low self-esteem often fear messing up, but it's important to teach them that setbacks are a valuable learning experience. Have open conversations with your students, encourage them to see mistakes as part of the growing process and can lead to growth and improvement. For example, if a student doesn’t do well on a test, take the time to review what went wrong and guide them in how to approach it differently next time. By doing this, they learn from their experiences and gain the confidence to try again.

7. Encourage Positive Relationships

Healthy relationships play a large role in boosting a child’s confidence. Encourage your students to spend time with friends who support them and encourage them. Teach them the importance of kindness and respect in relationships, and help them feel comfortable socializing. Reinforce positive connections by recognizing their efforts. For example, you could say, "It’s great that you spent time with John after school. He’s such a wonderful friend, and it’s clear you both enjoy each other’s company." This kind of support helps children build strong, healthy friendships.

8. Encourage Extracurricular Activities

Participating in extracurricular activities can significantly boost a child’s confidence. Encourage your students to try things like sports, music, or art—activities that help them feel a sense of accomplishment and build confidence beyond academics. For example, you could say, "You’ve got such a great voice! I think you’d really enjoy joining the school choir." This not only boosts their confidence but also gives them a chance to shine in areas they may not have considered before.

9. Assist Them in Time Management

Children with low self-esteem may feel overwhelmed by their workload, which can lead to anxiety and avoiding test situations. To help, encourage them to break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Teaching them time management skills can also give them a sense of control and ease their stress. For example, you could guide them in creating a weekly homework schedule to help them stay on track and reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. This approach helps them build confidence in handling their responsibilities.

10. Encourage Independence

Encourage your students to take on responsibilities and praise them when they complete tasks. Allowing them to make decisions helps build their independence and confidence. If they make a mistake or face challenges, offer your support and guidance to help them navigate the situation. This approach helps children learn from their experiences, developing resilience and a stronger sense of self-confidence as they grow.

Wrap Up

Many children struggle with self-confidence due to difficult experiences, high expectations, or social pressure. However, there are practical ways to support a child with low self-esteem. As a teacher, you can encourage open communication, keep realistic expectations, and praise your students for their effort and growth, not just for results. 

Additionally, eliminating comparisons, teaching resilience, encouraging participation in extracurricular activities, and helping students with time management are crucial for boosting their self-esteem. To implement these strategies effectively, teachers can benefit from the guidance of A Confident Mindset™, offering proper resources to help educators nurture and build confident and capable future leaders.